How many years of therapy did it take???

I talk (on a somewhat non-regular basis) to an absolute wonderful marriage and family therapist who has helped me through some very difficult times.  I’d call her whenever I needed to talk things over – get some feedback on the things that are going on in my life.  I always say “I get it – I know what I have to do”…..and I go on with life!  My main directive was to “start doing things for myself or put myself first”.  I would always say, “I know…..I know!  And, I would start the vicious cycle of doing for others…..putting someone else’s wishes before my own. 

A few months ago – I spent a long weekend having a huge blowup “discussion” with my sisters on a three-way phone call.  A lot of things came to a head, including the underlying fact that I need to “put myself first – and do things for myself,” even at their expense of their first hand treatment.  “Yea, yea…..I know.” 

But something really clicked that time.  Not only was a doing a lot of soul searching in my personal life, but I was also doing some soul searching in my professional life.  I had been really happy doing sales and marketing…..but I was losing my drive.  I didn’t want to work for people who didn’t “appreciate” what I did for them.  And, frankly, I wasn’t interested in doing anything that didn’t excite me or interest me. 

So, I thought long and hard about my various positions in life – and thought about what I put into those jobs, what I got out of those jobs and how much I liked the job.  I did the old fashion pro/con list and just went down the line.  I realized that I got all my enjoyment when I “took care of people” – “nurtured them”.  Yep, I’m one of “those people” – and I think I’m pretty good at it!  I needed to work with someone who appreciates what I do – and how I do it.  And understand what I need to get back from the “relationship”- acknowledgment and (every now and then) some additional rewards.  I hope I’ve found it.

What does this have to do with no shopping?  A lot.  Getting the things you need from your relationship – be it work or personal, brings happiness.  So you don’t have look for it elsewhere – be it in the mall or that internet shopping site.  I’m trying to find it within.